glad to be back?

it is sunday the 27th of March and i have finally returned to the university of nebraska-lincoln. it is the last night of spring break and the rest of my fraternity brothers are no doubt exchanging stories, or rather, attempting to remember their stories, or better, helping each other remember each other's stories, as the majority of them spent spring break together in panama city beach florida. when i got back to the house today, i found myself utilizing the back routes to my room in order to avoid talking to anyone. in the act of settling back in, i found myself...unsettled. this feeling of discomfort in a place i call my home, surrounded with those i call brothers is unusual. i cannot say with confidence why this feeling is present, but it is. the interactions that i could not avoid i hurried through, avoiding actually talking about how my break was or how I was for that matter. as i spend more time thinking about these feelings i am having, i am beginning to realize that they have existed for sometime. they were there when i started to skip monday dinner and meeting; when i consciously decided not to dispose of my dirty dishes properly; when i left the bathroom more foul then i found it; when i began to spend more of my free time with friends who were not in my fraternity, rather then spending time with my brothers. at this time it is unclear to me what implications this gradual disconnect will bring. guess ill just have to wait and see.